A walking meditation

I took a long walk this afternoon, enjoying some time with Rover exploring a new-to-us neighbourhood. It was good for an extended period of walking meditation, being super-attentive to myself; listening to the deeper part of me that often knows more than I realize.

I was feeling... burdened, but I didn't know from what, at first. It gradually clarified to anxiety over whether I was "Doing It Right" - feeling like I could be doing so much more, living better, making a bigger difference in the world.  (So, um, perhaps the most common angst known to humankind.)

I went deeper- walking and questioning, and asking Spirit for hints, since this was feeling pretty much like Meeting for Worship. I found I was resisting some directions, and eventually brought my attention back around to those troubling places, as Quakers have instructed all the way back to George Fox's time.

Some of the tough parts: Yes, I could do a better job with particular challenges, and I will work on those. Yes, the world is indeed in a fine mess, and there might be things I could be doing in the world to help.

But- it eventually felt fairly clear that this prompting was not a direct instruction for something I should be doing or not doing. Nor was it a "wait; go further into stillness before you can figure it out." Nor was it a "chill out, you get anxious over everything." (well, there was some of that, but that wasn't the brunt of the message).

Ultimately: "don't do more. Do less. Better."

And I feel that's the root of it, because articulating that took off a bit of the burden. And it's good sensible advice. Even if it's difficult advice.